"Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience." Easy for her to say..

/startemo
Sometimes I find myself depressed with my life. No, it's not like my life is hard or I have it rough. It's just that I tend to regret some of my past choices. I try to look pass my stupid choices and think of it as "life experience" but it's hard to convince myself that at times. Most/all of my regrets are from my mid-teens/high school. I feel like I've missed out on so much. I didn't make that many friends, I never joined any teams, I never tried hard at schoolwork, I never really took care of myself like I do now, I didn't care much about my appearance, etc. etc. etc. I basically never put effort into anything important.

The fact that I wasn't very social is probably the most depressing for me. I sometimes feel like a bit of a social outcast because I have so few friends and pretty much all of them are guys. Now that I've cut back considerably on video games, I find myself constantly bored. I wish I knew more people that I could just go out and do stuff with. Be it drinking, going to eat, movies, parties, just hanging out, whatever.

Though recently, I have actually been doing a bit of social stuff and going out(at least on weekends) which is slightly reassuring. Another thing that is reassuring(in all the wrong ways) is this guy that I know online. He's 22, still lives at home, has no job, and has no friends apart from 2-3 online. I can always look at him when I'm bummed and think "at least I'm not THAT bad".

Anyway, I'll probably have more success socially in the future(like College) and I can look back at myself and laugh at how stupid the way I'm feeling right now is.
/endemo